A Decade of Love

Wow, I cannot believe my baby girl is going to be double digits tomorrow!  Something about the sound of 10 has this mama all tore up.  That's an entire decade of her life and also a decade of mine.  An awesome, wonderful, life changing decade!  Ten years ago I truly found out that love at first sight exists.  I held Cohen for the first time and life definitely changed.  I became a mother and in that one word life just took on a new meaning.  Life certainly looks a little different now.  Being a mom is something I have always wanted to be and I have learned so much over these last 10 years.  There are some days when it is definitely the most rewarding thing I've ever done and some days I want to pull out every hair on my head.  It is tiring, but fun, stressful but something I wouldn't trade one minute of.   And the special part with Cohen is she is my first and she gets to be the one I learn everything through.  Each kid is different but I feel like she's the one I try everything with first, the one that gets to do all the fun things first, and yet the first born is always the one we have the most expectations for just because we don't know any better.   I know for me I feel like I am hardest on Cohen, not because I mean to be,  but now because she's the oldest of 3 and I lean on her to just know.  Not always the best way to be and something I need to be more aware of.
I tell you one thing though, this girl not only has filled a hole in my heart that I never knew was there, but she is pretty awesome!  I'm so lucky that I get to be her mom and I hope I always let her know how proud me and Kelly are of her.  She is an extremely smart, talented, kind and funny little girl.  She is and always has been a perfectionist and that is a strength and weakness for her.  She is confident and I hope she always stands for what she believes in and never tries to be someone she isn't.  I hope she can always be a light to others and a friend they can turn to.  And when life gets hard for her which I know it will in the years ahead I hope she knows that her Mama is always in her corner and will be here for her no matter what.  
This last decade I have watched my tiny 6 pound baby girl grow so much.   I don't think I can handle how fast time has flown by!  I can say that watching her grow and learn is so rewarding and amazing.  I have taken about 5 million pictures documenting her every step of the way and looking back through them brings me so many smiles and tears.  I love this little girl more than anything and I can't thank her enough for showing me a love I never knew, for teaching me to stop and enjoy the little moments in life, and for being my little best friend.  I know we have some fun years ahead and yet some hard ones ahead too.  I know God is going to walk with us both and I pray he guides her path every step of the way.  I pray for good friends to influence her, good boys to enter her life when the time is right, and I pray that He gives me the strength and patience to be the mom I need to be for her, especially as we enter those wonderful teenage years (in a few years!).  I'm clinging tight to this tween stage first!  I love you COHEN BRENLY FINGER!  You have and always will be my sunshine!